4 words: hood of his car
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
