He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
