No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
