Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I could fuck to npr.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
