Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
