I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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