Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
