Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
