i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
