it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
