k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
