i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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