We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
