I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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