I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
