I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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