I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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