Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
