this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
