Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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