I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
