take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
