Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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