Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
