Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
