But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
