He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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