I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
