I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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