So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
