I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
