How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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