if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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