We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
