Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
