I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
