After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
