i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
