I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
