is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
