Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
