I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
