did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
