Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
