What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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