Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
