I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
