that's an acceptable place to lick
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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