she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
