there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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