Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
