Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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