We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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