is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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