is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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