His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
