I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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