I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
