Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
