I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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