maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
