i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
