there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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