Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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