I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
