Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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