i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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