There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
