I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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