My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
